Had this chicken crossed the road, it could have been a tasty suicide.
The bird could have easily been caught and fried at Quaker Steak and Lube in Sharon, where suicide-flavored hot chicken wings are a staple on the menu.
Such was the story late Sunday afternoon in The Herald parking lot, where the bird came to roost for reasons unknown.
Had it landed across Connelly Boulevard, the bird might have been in danger at the restaurant.
Instead, it sought refuge in the friendly confines of The Herald, which has been lining bird cages for 149 years.
The story’s such that it brightens up more than the right-hand corner of today’s edition.
The fortunate fowl was first spotted at 4:30 p.m. in the parking lot on South Dock Street at Connelly Boulevard.
The bird wallowed in the grass on the hillside between the parking lot and Dock Street until city police arrived.
Patrolman Troy Widmyer happened to be working; his mother Gerda happens to be a staunch animal lover who is often in newspaper stories about mistreated dogs and cats.
Add chickens to the menagerie she’ll open her home to.
left to get a net and a portable animal carrier, then returned. He crept close to the chicken and captured it on the first try with a fluid lunge while the bird pecked the ground.
It was in the crate before it could let out a cluck.
It’s not known from which coop the chicken flew, or whether it was a hen or rooster.
The bird appeared to be healthy, but wouldn’t offer even a cluck when asked to comment.
Even without a word, the bird did provide a potential answer to that age-old question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
In this case, at least, that answer is “to earn a story in the newspaper.”