The Herald, Sharon, Pa.

March 16, 2013

St. Paddy, NCAA brackets combine for a wild Sunday

By Lynn Saternow

---- — Sometimes when the stars are aligned, we humble homo sapiens are granted a special weekend. This is one of them.

Besides having three local teams still alive in the PIAA basketball playoffs today, I can’t help but look forward to Sunday. That’s when St. Patrick’s Day and March Madness collide.

Does life get any better than that?

On St. Paddy's Day, ther are only two kinds of people -- the Irish and those who wish they were. Or at least pretend they are.

People will be slurping down green beer -- although many of us with Irish heritage avoid it and drink Guinness or Murphy's.

Warning: Please realize that sometimes when you put things into your body which contain heavy amounts of green food coloring, it is still green when you recycle it into the environment -- if you get my drift,

The next morning, while you can try and blame it on leprechauns, your wife usually won’t believe you as you try to explain that patch of green snow in your backyard. It can be very expensive.

First you’ll try this: ”I don’t know, honey. The dog must be sick or something!”

Then you have to go with this: “I don’t know honey, but I’ll be picking up those diamond earrings you liked today.”

Begorrah and begotten, could a St. Paddy’s Day be any better than to have the NCAA Basketball Tournament bracketing set on the same evening? (What? How could Notre Dame not get a top seed? Doesn’t the new pope have more influence than that?)

Here’s a second word of warning: If you have been celebrating St. Paddy driving the snakes from Ireland since 6 a.m. on Sunday, wait until Monday to fill out your final brackets to enter in contests. Otherwise you could accidentally have Liberty winning the Final Four, which is even more embarrassing than green snow.

In other words, if you celebrate St. Paddy’s Day, you need to have a designated driver and a designated bracketeer ready to go. ‘Nuff said.

Erin go bragh!

• I was reading an interesting article on an Internet news page. It said that a study had determined that having sex in space could be dangerous.

Really? You have to wonder how much of our tax money went into a grant to conduct that study. Probably billions. I think it’s pretty safe to say that not too many of us will ever have to worry about it.

• And then on that same page was another story that caught my eye. It was a list of the top six most stressful -- but most worth it -- jobs. And guess what No. 1 was?


How about that? I was pretty thrilled until I thought about it and realized who was making the person write that article. Yep. Some editor.

Wow. That took away a little bit of the joy.

It was sort of like the day I was trying to figure out the most important part of my body. If finally came to me: The Brain.

But then I realized what was telling me that -- the same brain that said: Go ahead, drink some more green beer.

Erin go bragh!

The Herald’s Lynn Saternow writes this column each Saturday for the Opinion Page.

He can be reached at