The Herald, Sharon, Pa.

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January 12, 2013

‘Smart forks’ could help both dieters and legislators


---- — Problem is, we can’t have a whole lot of faith in our government leaders fixing the problem the way they have become so dysfunctional. We barely were able to avoid going over the fiscal cliff at the last minute. (By the way, kudos to our Rep. Mike Kelly who went against a majority of the Republican Party and did what was best for the majority of constituents in his western Pennsylvania area.)

But if we are truly going to end this dysfunctional system we have today, I think I have the way to do it.

If that smart fork thing works for losing weight -- which means more people will live even longer and require more Social Security -- I am working on developing another way to use a smart fork.

When people in the House or Senate go to push their button to vote on something that goes against the best interest of the majority of American people, the smart fork shoots out of the panel and stabs them in the hand. It then delivers a Taser shock to the voters.

Yes, I realize that a computer will then be running the country. But can it do any worse?

The Herald’s Lynn Saternow writes this column each Saturday for the Opinion Page. He can be reached at

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